There are countless options today when it comes to anything. Movies? There seems to be an infinite supply of movies on Netflix. Now there seems to be a never ending supply of streaming services like Disney, Prime, Hulu, Youtube, Crave, etc. Which choice is the right choice?

Optionality can be overwhelming, to the point that you don’t even know where to start. The fear of failing, and then failing at a whole bunch of things can generate so many excuses in your mind as to why bother even starting.

Fear of failure is a common concern that can hold people back from pursuing their goals and trying new things. It’s natural to be afraid of failing, as failure can bring disappointment, frustration, and a sense of inadequacy. However, it’s important to remember that failure is actually just a normal part of the learning and growth process.

Here are a few ways to overcome the fear of failure:

Reframe your perspective on failure: Instead of viewing failure as a personal attack or a reflection of your worth, try to see it as an opportunity to learn and grow. You experience micro-failures daily and don’t even think twice about it. Remember that time you walked a little too fast and stubbed your toe? That was a learning experience to slow down. You didn’t quit walking because you failed there – you learned to not rush through that spot. Remember that even the most successful people have experienced failure at some point in their lives. They often fail the most and thereby learned how to be successful.

Set realistic goals: Setting unrealistic goals can lead to feelings of inadequacy and failure. By setting more realistic and achievable goals, you can increase your chances of success and reduce the fear of failing. Try creating an end Goal with many smaller goal bridges or achievements/milestones. You can hit these easier with more realistic goals that are ultimately required to get to your end Goal anyways. Hitting these will generate momentum to keep moving forward.

Take small steps: If the fear of failure is holding you back from taking action, try breaking your goals down into smaller, more manageable steps. This can help you build momentum and confidence as you work towards your larger goals.

Seek support: Surround yourself with supportive people who will encourage and motivate you. Sharing your goals and challenges with others can help you feel more accountable and less alone. You are NOT the only person to have failed (learned) and it’s important to understand how to move on by leaning on mentors to help you to the next step.

Practice self-compassion: Be kind and understanding with yourself when you do experience failure. Remember that everyone makes mistakes and that it’s okay to not be perfect.

Try Radical Accountability: This actually helps with anger management, but can re-frame your mind when it comes to failure. Whenever something goes wrong – whether it is your fault or not, take full accountability for it and then ask yourself what could YOU have done to generate a better outcome. This is not to say you are actually at fault for everything, but performing this exercise can actually reduce your anxiety when something doesn’t go as planned, and also to ensure there is a learning point from each event. It is also incredible for conflict management!

Some Examples:

If someone cuts you off on the highway, try re-framing and asking yourself “That was my fault, Was I driving with the flow of traffic? Maybe I should be more aware of my surroundings”

If a colleague throws you under the bus with your manager, tell yourself “I deserved that. How did I provide them that opportunity to do so in the first place? I should be more on top of my work, establish better relationships with my colleagues and make sure I am in constant communication with my manager.”

If your spouse yells at you for sleeping in and being lazy, tell them “You’re right, that was my fault. I should have slept earlier which is better for my health, and haven’t been trying new ventures because of my fear of failure. I know failure is a learning point so I will start something new today!”